Finding my Ikigai
Over the last couple of days, the word ‘Ikigai’ has been popping up everywhere I look, and I can’t shake it off my mind. Ikigai is a Japanese word that translates to ‘Iki’ which means life/ being alive while ‘kai’ (voiced as ‘gai’) meaning result or effect. According to the Japanese culture, everyone has an Ikigai, which is a reason for living and finding it brings satisfaction and meaning to life but requires a deep and lengthy search of self.
At the time of writing, I have just completed a Data Science Certificate Program, and I could not be more proud. Before I lose you, let me bring this to perspective and take you back to March 15th, 2020. The day was uncharacteristically dark, and everything I touched felt a million times heavier or harder. I work on many research papers and articles, and a typical day for me is 10–15 pages of research reports and reviews. For so long, this has brought me peace as it feeds my hunger for knowledge while I also answer different research questions and provide viable solutions to identified problems. The passion I had in my work felt like it counted for nothing, and for once in a while, I felt utterly lost and without purpose.
‘Maybe I am just tired.’ I exclaimed as I tried to put off the feeling of uselessness that was building fast.
I was working shifts for a startup at the time, and we put in nearly 12 hours a day, which did not help my general wellness in any way, but the city’s economy just would not let a fella sleep. I skipped breakfast this morning and went out cycling as it always helps me free my mind. The more I cycled, the heavier the thoughts weighed on me. I have had my fair share of nervous breakdowns, but on the 15th, my world came crumbling down. I was filled with anger, and I blamed everyone around me who, in one way or another, seemed to have blocked my path to finding my Ikigai. I am a person who thrives with practice and implementation, so I blamed the Education system for pushing me into a field that required extensive cramming of land laws and policies and their enforcement procedures. I blamed the 8–4–4 curriculum for failing to provide students with more opportunities to express their creative minds through innovation. I blamed my weak financial background, which meant that university admission through the Joint Admission Board was my best chance at joining campus. Simply put, my anger at the world seemed justified, and cutting off everyone linked to any of my blockers made great sense and gave me temporary satisfaction.
According to the Japanese culture, finding ones Ikigai requires a deep and lengthy search of self to find their reason for being. A week after my nervous breakdown, I still had not healed. I sought help from ‘Aunty Teka’ with whom I shared my troubles and recent feelings, and contrary to popular opinion that “Mwanaume ni kukaa ngumu”, you’d be surprised how much sharing a problem helps to overcome it. For all the blame I passed around, I did not want to take responsibility for the circumstances I found myself in, and this is where the soul-searching came in. I did my first research gig in 2016, and I have never felt as fulfilled as I was in my role as a research assistant at the time. Even better, the study focused on improving the 8–4–4 system, which I feel is a vital contributor to the unemployment crisis among Kenyan youth. Since then, I have participated in numerous studies, and this has always brought me general satisfaction as I can see the role I have played in impacting lives, especially those of children I interact with during the studies. Through research, I have come to appreciate the circumstances I find myself in, as many others can do with a small fraction of what I have had or have. I have learned that sitting back and dishing blame does not help anyone, even for the person dishing blame. After a lengthy period of soul-searching, I decided that only I was responsible for my life, and it was up to me to get the best out of it.
For the past six months, I took a journey to improve my knowledge and skills on things that meant the world to me. I have always looked forward to a career in the technology industry, mainly due to its role in facilitating innovation to tackle real world problems. My research experience has been fulfilling since it is something I love, something that the world needs to solve current and emerging problems, and it has always been a viable career path. For all the joy I get out of research, I realized I missed the ability to go ahead and implement some of the solutions I could think of since I lacked the technical knowledge on how to leverage the power of technology to innovate and deploy solutions for use. I mentioned that I could not be more proud of my achievement, but this is not because I have gained a new skill set. I am proud because the program has opened up a new world where I can expand my research capabilities to impact a wider population. I am also proud because I am better placed to help others through innovation. I am proud because I took charge of my life and did not let the unknown fear stop me from doing what I have always wanted.
I believe I have found my Ikigai.
